My Multi talented Hero........I call him Achan...

        Somehow I feel that I often mention about my Mom more in this blog. Perhaps she is my best friend can be one among the reasons. I have the freedom to discuss anything under the sun with her! I have never felt that she is older than me. Best friends, indeed!

        But, Dad? I never see my Dad like a friend. But someone whom I can always look up-to; my inspiration, my strength. It is better not to mention a fact that, " A Daughter is her Father's princess from the day she is born and a Father is always his daughter's first hero in life." Mine as well............ My Dad is my constant pillar of support and guidance. The only person whom I can approach when taking major decisions in life and I'm glad that he has always stood beside me with support, till date. He is a huge tree shading my brother and me all the time.

         People say that I resemble my Dad, and my brother like my Mom. During my childhood I always hated this comment! The childish me always wanted to look like my beautiful Mom. However, I always used to boast that I am intelligent like my father. Yes, I was too proud that my father was a genius in many aspects and silently happy that I had many characteristics similar to him. We both are creative, we draw and paint, we write, we stitch and we love Mathematics, to play with numbers! We have quite a few differences in opinion as well.

     

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        Many of Dad's attributes still fascinate me. One among them is the way he utilizes time. I have never seen him wasting time till date. Be it reading, writing, repairing or stitching , he is always engaged; no idle time. If there is anything to be repaired at home, my Dad is the first technician always approached. I always wonder how a first rank holder in Meteorology from CUSAT makes use of a sewing machine like a pro!

   

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         I was studying in my 5th or 6th grade to be precise, when we deiced to build a new home. My Dad was the sole architect and plan creator of this house. I can't explain the excitement I had when for the first time Dad showed me a hand drawn picture of our new home and explained about it! The name of the house was also decided beforehand. 'Woodnil'. The name defines it! A house constructed without utilizing a single piece of wood. An idea that struck my Scientist Dad when he was doing a research project on ' Impact of Deforestation on Hydrological Parameters'. The great visionary then foresaw that this dream home of our's will be an achievement. And yes, his prediction was correct. It got featured in the Limca Book of Records in the year 2009 . This was the first time when I witnessed his joy, pride and excitement personally. The happiness was evident on his face. After tiring, years of hard work and completing the construction of 'Woodnil' under his sole supervision, receiving an award is truly remarkable. Cheers Dad!

                                                

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        After retirement, when someone writes and publishes a literary work it can be just a result of a pastime activity. However, the situation was different in my Dad's case. He had written so many one-act-plays during his youthhood; creations as a result of sleepless nights when migraine made him remain awake. This activity somehow reduced the intensity of the throbbing headache. My Dad procrastinated in publishing these noteworthy dramas till his retirement. Thus, the book titled 'Monjula Monthakal' was released in 2016. 

        I should not forget to mention about the books, 'Nammude Anthareekshavum Kalavasthagadagangalum' and 'Woodnil & 101 Tips' published in 2012 and 2014 respectively before his retirement. The former is a guide on atmospheric conditions and climatic changes, a simple and interesting prose on nature and environment. The latter, as the name suggests give an insight about 'Woodnil and other tips' which can be used in home construction. This book also got featured in the Limca Book of Records as the first book on own previous record! But my favourites among these are 'Monjula Monthakal' and also 'Chelulla Chekuthanmar' published in 2019.

        Though both are humorous in genre, the latter consists of short stories. To some extend I feel that both have satirical sense of humor. My Dad's writing is truly commendable because I was unable to make out which chapter is the best in these books, incomparable! Hats off Dad!

        Another thing to be highlighted is the sketches printed in both the books were drawn and hand painted by my father himself. A multi talented human being indeed! Touch-wood. From anything to everything, he does single handedly, efficiently and cheerfully; long way to go Dad, my Achan! Keep inspiring us!...........

    

This too shall pass!...

        9 months!..the period I felt devastated and gloomy.

        Little 'S' was only 2 years old when I received the job appointment order to get uprooted to New Delhi. The news was totally appalling. My expectation was shattered in a span of seconds when I received the letter from the post man. Everything felt upside down. The thoughts were mainly about my little one. How will I cope to live in a new city deprived of my family?...Or should I take her along?..So many unanswered queries revolved around me at one single moment. I felt lost and scattered to bits!...

        But the only relief then was that I had my parents beside me. Apparently I was staying with them.

        The month of June,2018 it was. The appointment letter stated to join the New Delhi office within 15 days....

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         Till date I don't remember any single day in my childhood when I was staying away from my mother until I travelled for graduation interstate. She was always beside my brother and myself. There were umpteen times when my Dad had to go on official tour. But this beautiful nonpareil was our savior then. Infact, we fight; even now this write-up is an apology to the argument had. Usually, the person you argue the most is the person you love the most. Period.

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         Amma was always beside me inspite of all the hardships she faced in life. Abandoning her job after my arrival into this world was just one among them. 

         Contrary to my mother, I was setting my foot to employment leaving my 2 year old 2000 Kms. apart. Many unanswered queries were still lingering in my mind. The first and foremost was that whether I was doing the right thing. Will this be a mistake in my life?.

         Little 'S' had just started to speak. I will have to listen to her unclear vocabulary from a distance. The growth phase will be missed. How pathetic! I felt deeply broken. The only hope then was my Dad's promise that I can return at the earliest after availing the transfer. Infact, all of us anticipated my transfer very soon since I was a new mother. Eventually I kept my daughter in my parents safest hands and flew miles apart to work....

         The funniest part was that contradictory to what I was expecting the little one didn't bid adieu to me in tears. She was all happy and content. This innocence was a relief for me. Thank You dear one!..

          

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           Everything was different in New Delhi. The place,the climate, the people, their culture, custom, language, food ,etc. All seemed opposite to the place where I was born and brought up.  The Northern part of India is quite contrary to the Southern part of India. Life in that new city was tough for someone like me who was already depressed. Many a times I took leave from my job and flew back to my town just to have some peaceful time with my family , especially the little one.

            The vital lesson learned  then was when you are mentally enervated it affects the whole of yourself. I don't remember a single fortnight when I didn't consult the doctor. Literally sickness was my companion. Apparently, I lost pounds of weight. The bone throbbing body pain, the consistent night dry coughs, the often upset stomach, what more should a 28 year old have to face often. I cried my heart out, everywhere ranging from the hostel corridors to the office washroom hiding away from others to avoid sympathy. The mischievous toddler at the other side of the video call running to play... everything made me lost.

             But my nonpareil as always consoled me, motivated me and the best was she listened to me always. My mother!..Not even a single second she said that she was busy taking care of the child. Anytime when I wanted her she was silently listening to me, consoling my tears from the other side of the phone. She was/is more than the Almighty to me. I should not forget my Dad. The messages he sent me then, motivating me to hold onto my job, rather than resigning. These two saviors often repeated this quote.." This too shall pass". 

              Yes!...After 9 months of working at a foreign city I was fortunately availed transfer to the city of my choice. I owe it to all my superior officers and many other beautiful souls.

              Regardless I had only one single doubt while returning home. Will my little one love me the way she did before?..Will she forgive me for not being with her?...

              But life is beautiful, so are children. Her heart soothing hug and a kiss as soon as I said that I am not going back was only required for me to forget and her to forgive, those tormenting days of our lives.........

      

#Metoo....

         When the social media is preponderating with #metoo, let me reveal mine. My first...even before adolescence, when I hardly knew that there are sexual perverts pervasive in this society....
         It was during my 6th grade summer vacations. Due to my keen interest in sketching and painting, my parents enrolled me in an art class for a period of two months. They were very insistent that I ought to travel alone by a bus to get there. Though initially reluctant, finally I agreed. It was advised that this was the first step towards being strong and independent. Myself, very shy and reserved, had lot of inhibitions back then....The scenario is different today. Period.
         With lot of anxiety, I started my daily rides alone. Though hesitant, I enjoyed it as days passed by....
         Finally the day arrived. The bus was packed. There was no room for an apple to fall. The short and stout me was sandwiched among the co-passengers. Suddenly I realized that an elderly man has placed his hands on my body. That moment!!....I neither could cry nor scream. I only felt an uneasiness because I didn't understand it's extent at that split second....Good Lord!...After alighting from the bus, this man walked beside me with his hands on my shoulder and later walked away. I was literally dumbstruck! Who the hell was he?...a stranger or someone familiar was the only thought in my mind. As usual I attended the class with a disturbed mind...
         Back home, after returning I cried my hearts out. I narrated everything happened to them and warned them not to publicize the incident even to our well wishers. The only feeling I had then was a sense of shame and awkwardness!....
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       Years passed. Today, I have come through many such situations....some retorted;some silent. They have all made me robust and impregnable.
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       Though there are many hash tags with 'me too' movement engulfing the media, Women are we safe tomorrow?...including my toddler daughter!!

The Talc Affair....

          It was a usual day at work. Suddenly I got a whiff of a scent..that mellow fragrance.....the scent which holds vivid memories....'Yardley'!...the centuries old talcum powder. It still didn't change a bit...that same passionate smell!
          My earliest memory of that merchandise goes to my 'P Amma'(let us call her so for the time being), my Amma's Aunt. She resided along with her husband beside our house. Their house was more of mine, rather than a neighbour. Then, when I was a shy and reserved child, P Amma always came to my rescue being my playmate. There were days when I used to play even the game 'Catch the Ball' with the lady in her late sixties!
         'Yardley' was her constant companion. Everyday after bath her wrinkled face was adorned in the white talc.It's application was too unconcealed that it often made us laugh looking at her. The powder, the red bindi and the oiled tresses, these three attributes made her looks distinct and genuine. Her age beguiling looks were really an asset.
        This 'Yardley' in a similar manner is very much associated to Amma. Like her Aunt, Amma is also very much in companionship with this product unlike myself who uses it only when I get those bizarre stares from her which often means "No talc?!"...Dear concealer....u never win!
        Perhaps in Kerala I believe there are many such Ammas and P Ammas who have a fervent relationship with this after shower product. Though 'Yardley' is prevalent among the best sellers, there are many other talcum powder brands which are still reigning in the market to enhance the beauty of the women generations of yesterday, today and tomorrow. Period.
        Some things inherited are so. Even if we feel like discarding we keep them close to our heart and continue to use them. At times it helps in cherishing the good old memories of some beautiful people and relishing their presence even in their absence.

Travel....

        Finally or surprisingly I got a job...all of a sudden! After much hype, the posting is at New Delhi, the capital of India. From the Southern tip of India I'm gonna travel to the Northern part of India...A hectic 3 days travel by train or 9 hours journey by flight (unavailability of  direct flight is a point to be noted). Despite of the hour bound journey, I enjoy travelling. My profound gratitude to my father for instilling this interest in me.
                                                     
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         Those school summer vacations, the long gap of 2 months..........Luckily, we have our father who plans a tour prior to our holidays. Evey year before our Annual Examination, Dad will orate us a proforma of tasks to be done during the vacation. A family excursion or tour is mostly a mandatory one. The others included are sending my brother and myself to educational camps, creative classes, things to be done at home, etc. Amma is also included in the process of decision making... A vague idea of the place to be visited will be provided before the examination. As soon as it commences Dad will announce the complete itinerary of the tour programme. I still remember the inquisitiveness we had till that day arrives.....and then the total excitement begins!...We are ready for an expedition together as a family to a new place to explore, seek and learn.
         In this manner, we have travelled to umpteen places; at least when compared to my friends who had no much chances during childhood to travel with their family. Dad used to plan everything in advance so that the travel expenses will not exceed our financial budget. Then when we had to keep in mind that our 'Royal CHETAK' scooter's petrol has to be filled full!! So most of the journeys were constricted within the country.
         Not only these journeys had given me an opportunity to spend quality time with my family and nurture our bonding with each other, but also understand the culture, language, food habits, values, etc of each State I had visited.
        Cities like Bengaluru which taught me how serenity and progression can move side by side..the double decker buses, the peaceful gardens!....Ooty/Kodiakanal for how weather changes according to topography, when back in Kerala there is a different climate...and the mesmerising tea plantations spread over there!........Trichi/Tanjavur where the sun can be too piercing , the enchanting temple architecture to the finger licking sambhar vadas!......Idukki/Munnar, the pride of Kerala, the most sought after tourist destination in South India!....Lakshadweep, my first visit to an island, to understand what a lagoon is and to feel the exhilarating sea breeze!....many such travel destinations to the list!!
        By enjoying these journeys together Dad has ingrained in me the interest of travelling and exploring new zones.

              "Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer." - Anonymous

     Just like my father, let me entrench this pleasure in my daughter too!

         

The Name Change!....

        I am unique. I am different. I am special. I have an identity. I have a name.
        Yes, we all have a name which makes us unique, different and special! Our names play an important role in developing an identity of one's self. Here in my country, each one of us is addressed mostly with our first name rather than surname.
         I myself wish and try to address someone with his/ her name in the correct pronunciation. I believe that they themselves will wish to be known so. The sole reason for this is the incorrect pronunciation of my name!...Tears....
         Luckily, I live n Kerala where majority of the people have some pronunciation problems....I beleve so!!...
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         My parents have named me 'RAKHI'. I love my name. But, unfortunately I live in a society where they address me as 'RAGI' or 'RAGHI' or 'RAKI'....mostly..!
         I strongly believe that this situation is not  gonna change. But, what about my identity?...My name plays a major part in it. Initially this difference in notation evoked tears to roll down my cheeks, then hatred and lately frustration!
         But, what is the seen outside Kerala?..Different...or good.
        India, the country which proudly ushers about the Unity in Diversity, has 29 states and 7 union territories. Including my state, I am familiar with 6 states or the citizens of these states. If they can pronounce my name correctly, why not Kerala?...Not everyone, but the truth is majority!
        I am sure that there are so many like me facing the same problem. Will the situation change?...I doubt...
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        My little one will have to face the same problem...Apologies to her!..How foolish was I to name her 'Samyakha'. The same 'KHA'  problem persists!....

Intermisson!.....

       It was a long break...Yes...more than a year!..It was all because of her...She is the absolute reason for my absence in peeking into this blog of mine. I weren't even possible to play peekaboo here...She being the sole responsibility. You have to admit it my 18 month old daughter!
       You little one has played, is playing and will play(I believe) a major role in my transformation both physically and emotionally.
       However, I'm secretly happy that there is no much change to me physically. Neither have I put on weight nor lost, post pregnancy....unlike my society wishes to see women post pregnancy...the baby fat still evident enough!!..Sorry my 'so called' society. I'm stll in shape...still healthy. Glad that I have such genes inherited from my Mom!...
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     The period was too long...15 months of managing her all by myself along with my husband's support...Neither with the help of a caregiver nor a housemaid. A sense of pride dwells within me at this moment. I took care or still cares of my first born solely! Fortunate enough that there are her sweetest grandparents, my friends, well wishers, etc. at the other end who are always there for us!....
     How beautiful is life!!..Like you, even I'm glad that the Almighty is showering us blessings and pondering those amazing moments amongst us. The hymn from my school days echoes...
                                        "When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
                                         When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
                                         Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
                                         And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done......
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                                         Count your blessings name them one by one............"