Little 'S' was only 2 years old when I received the job appointment order to get uprooted to New Delhi. The news was totally appalling. My expectation was shattered in a span of seconds when I received the letter from the post man. Everything felt upside down. The thoughts were mainly about my little one. How will I cope to live in a new city deprived of my family?...Or should I take her along?..So many unanswered queries revolved around me at one single moment. I felt lost and scattered to bits!...
But the only relief then was that I had my parents beside me. Apparently I was staying with them.
The month of June,2018 it was. The appointment letter stated to join the New Delhi office within 15 days....
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Till date I don't remember any single day in my childhood when I was staying away from my mother until I travelled for graduation interstate. She was always beside my brother and myself. There were umpteen times when my Dad had to go on official tour. But this beautiful nonpareil was our savior then. Infact, we fight; even now this write-up is an apology to the argument had. Usually, the person you argue the most is the person you love the most. Period.
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Amma was always beside me inspite of all the hardships she faced in life. Abandoning her job after my arrival into this world was just one among them.
Contrary to my mother, I was setting my foot to employment leaving my 2 year old 2000 Kms. apart. Many unanswered queries were still lingering in my mind. The first and foremost was that whether I was doing the right thing. Will this be a mistake in my life?.
Little 'S' had just started to speak. I will have to listen to her unclear vocabulary from a distance. The growth phase will be missed. How pathetic! I felt deeply broken. The only hope then was my Dad's promise that I can return at the earliest after availing the transfer. Infact, all of us anticipated my transfer very soon since I was a new mother. Eventually I kept my daughter in my parents safest hands and flew miles apart to work....
The funniest part was that contradictory to what I was expecting the little one didn't bid adieu to me in tears. She was all happy and content. This innocence was a relief for me. Thank You dear one!..
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Everything was different in New Delhi. The place,the climate, the people, their culture, custom, language, food ,etc. All seemed opposite to the place where I was born and brought up. The Northern part of India is quite contrary to the Southern part of India. Life in that new city was tough for someone like me who was already depressed. Many a times I took leave from my job and flew back to my town just to have some peaceful time with my family , especially the little one.
The vital lesson learned then was when you are mentally enervated it affects the whole of yourself. I don't remember a single fortnight when I didn't consult the doctor. Literally sickness was my companion. Apparently, I lost pounds of weight. The bone throbbing body pain, the consistent night dry coughs, the often upset stomach, what more should a 28 year old have to face often. I cried my heart out, everywhere ranging from the hostel corridors to the office washroom hiding away from others to avoid sympathy. The mischievous toddler at the other side of the video call running to play... everything made me lost.
But my nonpareil as always consoled me, motivated me and the best was she listened to me always. My mother!..Not even a single second she said that she was busy taking care of the child. Anytime when I wanted her she was silently listening to me, consoling my tears from the other side of the phone. She was/is more than the Almighty to me. I should not forget my Dad. The messages he sent me then, motivating me to hold onto my job, rather than resigning. These two saviors often repeated this quote.." This too shall pass".
Yes!...After 9 months of working at a foreign city I was fortunately availed transfer to the city of my choice. I owe it to all my superior officers and many other beautiful souls.
Regardless I had only one single doubt while returning home. Will my little one love me the way she did before?..Will she forgive me for not being with her?...
But life is beautiful, so are children. Her heart soothing hug and a kiss as soon as I said that I am not going back was only required for me to forget and her to forgive, those tormenting days of our lives.........
